Tame Your Tongue: A Plea to See the Whole Child

S.N.A.P. Coaching Framework

About the S.N.A.P. Method™ : The S.N.A.P. Method™ is a reflective framework created for teachers navigating the real world.

“The tongue has the power of life and death...” — Proverbs 18:21

Reflection

I saw a Facebook post that stopped me in my tracks, and it weighed heavily on my heart.

“This morning a child went to a burial ground and threw his school bag at his mother’s grave and emotionally said in tears:
'Enough mummy! You have slept enough. Wake up, come with me to school tomorrow and give an answer to my teacher who keeps saying,
Your mother is very careless, she sends you to school without a lunchbox, she doesn’t even dress you up properly, and she never helps you with your homework.
Life without you, mom, is not the same.’”

That post still echoes in my spirit.

How often do we, as educators, unintentionally hurt with our words? How often do we speak before truly seeing the child in front of us?

What if we took a moment to think about how every “forgotten” homework, messy appearance, or late arrival might have a story we haven’t heard yet?

This is where the S.N.A.P. model combines compassion with responsibility.

S – STOP

Before you speak, pause. Stop your frustration. Take a breath. Resist the urge to criticize. Ask yourself: Is what I’m about to say necessary? Helpful? Kind?

N – NOTICE

Notice the child.

Not just their behavior, but their body language, their patterns, and their silences. A missed assignment might indicate more than laziness. A crumpled uniform could tell a story of loss, instability, or survival.

What are you noticing beyond what’s immediately visible?

A – ACT

Act with grace.

Correct with care.

Affirm with empathy.

Yes, we must teach accountability, but we can do so without damaging dignity.

Let your actions build a bridge, not a barrier.

P – PLAN

Plan compassion in your classroom culture. Focus on connecting before correcting. Create a space where students don’t fear your words but feel safe in them.

Encouragement to Carry:

So before you enter the classroom this year…

...pause and remember: every child who walks through your door is more than just a number, a test score, or a behavior chart.

They are somebody’s entire world.
They are carrying stories you may never read in a file.
They are navigating silent battles you may never hear spoken aloud.

So, before you call them "lazy," ask what they may be lacking.
Before labeling them "defiant," wonder what trust has been broken in their lives.
Before saying "they don’t care," consider who might have told them they never mattered.

Tame your tongue.
Because the words you speak will either build bridges or burn them.

Before you speak in frustration, choose curiosity.
Before you give sarcasm, offer grace.
Before you say "again?" ask yourself, "What haven’t they been taught yet?"

Seeing the whole child means being willing to look beyond the surface, to the potential, the pain, the personality, and the promise that lies underneath.

Let your classroom be the place where students are reminded not only of who they are, but of who they can become.

And if all else fails, pause, pray, and reset.
They are not perfect. Neither are we.
But love covers more than correction ever will.

This year, let your voice speak life. Let your words plant seeds. Let your tongue be tamed by purpose.

Reflective Question:

When was the last time I paused before I spoke, and how might my words have landed differently if I had spoken with grace instead of reaction?