Connection Before Curriculum: Rethinking the Icebreaker
S.N.A.P. Coaching Framework
About the S.N.A.P. Method™ : The S.N.A.P. Method™ is a reflective framework created for teachers navigating the real world.
Strong schools start with strong connections. Sometimes the most crucial work doesn’t begin with a plan… it begins with a person.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
A Moment That Made Me Think
While scrolling through Facebook recently, I came across a reel that made me pause.
A principal shared their honest opinion that icebreakers often feel like forced interactions. The comments section lit up. Teacher after teacher chimed in, expressing their dislike. One comment in particular stuck with me:
“Admin needs to stop forcing this on us. Let me opt out and focus on what I need to do in my classroom.”
Oof. That hit hard, and it made me think.
As adults, we often give ourselves permission to opt out. We can politely decline participation in an activity that feels uncomfortable or unnecessary, but do we offer that same grace to our students?
What If Students Said the Same Thing?
Imagine a student saying:
“I don’t want to do this. I don’t even want to be here. Skip this icebreaker and let me scroll on my phone.”
We probably wouldn’t accept that.
As educators, we recognize that resistance isn’t necessarily defiance; it often stems from discomfort and the burdens our students carry. While we promote engagement, we recognize that hesitation isn't always a sign of disrespect.
If we truly believe that strong schools start with strong relationships, we need to rethink how we build them, not only with our students but also with each other.
Maybe It’s Not the Icebreaker… Maybe It’s the Atmosphere
Let’s be honest: most of us would prefer being in our classrooms, setting up, planning lessons, or working through our to-do lists. That’s totally fine; our responsibilities are important.
However, here's another truth: life is meant to be lived and enjoyed.
One of the best ways to enjoy it, especially in a profession that demands so much from us, is by getting to know the people we work with.
In some schools, teachers only know those in their hallway. In others, you can go an entire year without learning a colleague’s name. We show up, work hard, and carry a lot, but we rarely take the time to get to know each other.
What if we created intentional space for that?
Let’s Create the Culture We Want to Work In
If icebreakers aren’t your thing, that’s okay. But connection is still essential. Try suggesting something that works for you and your team:
Bowling Night – fun, no pressure, just community.
Teacher Table Tuesday – a rotating after-school dinner open to all.
Ladies’ Night Out: Sip & Support – mocktails, coffee, or paint night.
Gentlemen’s Gathering: Grill & Chill or Ties and Fries – simple and fun.
Staff Reset Sessions – a walk, yoga, or space just to check in.
You don’t need the whole staff on board. Culture shifts when a few people show up consistently and create something worth being part of.
Why Icebreakers Belong Before the To-Do List
Before we dive into lesson plans, bulletin boards, and data walls, what if we paused for a moment, not to waste time, but to invest it in each other.
We’re not just creating a classroom; we’re cultivating a culture, and that begins with seeing people.
Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. In our rush to check off the list, we might miss the one who’s quietly struggling, or someone who’s new, nervous, or in need of connection.
That’s why I believe moments of community are important, and why I think we should use the S.N.A.P. Method to guide our approach to this part of the work.
S.N.A.P. Method: Leading Connection with Intention
Stop
Stop assuming everyone is okay.
Stop rushing to work before checking on the people doing it.
Sometimes the best thing we can do is pause long enough to truly see someone.
Notice
Notice who’s keeping their door closed, who looks tired, and who hasn’t laughed in a while. Icebreakers aren’t just about fun for fun’s sake; they’re small bridges that help us notice one another before the year kicks off.
I met one of my closest friends through this very kind of awareness. She was hired mid-year, and like many late hires, she was never formally introduced to the staff. I only found out she was there because I happened to pass her classroom one Friday afternoon on my way out and saw her struggling to set up with hardly any supplies.
I stopped and asked if she needed help. She looked at me hesitantly, unsure of what to say. I introduced myself and told her I’d be back over the weekend to help her get ready for Monday.
The next day, I walked into my classroom, gathered supplies from my closet, and pulled a few items off the wall, then returned to transform her space. What started with a simple offer grew into something much deeper. We became teacher besties, and that connection blossomed into a friendship that extended far beyond the school grounds.
All because I took the time to notice.
Act
Act with kindness and purpose.
You might not want to be there, but it may be different for someone else.
Even if you’d rather be laminating or labeling, those 20 minutes of “silly” activity could open the door to a real connection.
Sometimes we show up not just for ourselves but for others.
Change the outcome by shifting your attitude.
You never know when a small moment becomes a lifeline.
Plan
Treat connection planning like you do your lessons. Include it on your agenda, allocate time for it in meetings, and make it a normal part of your culture. If we don’t make time for it, it won’t happen, and the cost of disconnection is too high.
Why It Matters for Our Students Too
Before we teach students how to collaborate, we demonstrate it ourselves. Before we ask them to step out of their comfort zones, we step out of ours. That’s why icebreakers are important. Not because they’re always fun, but because they open up space for genuine connection.
And when teachers feel supported and seen:
Communication improves
Collaboration thrives
Morale grows
Student outcomes rise
When adults work together in unity, students benefit from the ripple effect.
Final Thought
You might not love icebreakers, and that’s okay, but connection isn’t a luxury; it’s a lifeline.
Before we build the strategy, let’s build trust.
Before we dive into the “what,” let’s focus on the 'who.”
Strong schools don’t begin with posters or policies. They start with people.
What are your thoughts?
